'I was friends with my husband for four years before we fell in love.
If I had a rule book, I'd include one about how you need to like the
person before you love them. The like never goes away, even when
they're driving you crazy.'
'When I was little I used to say, 'When I grow up, I want to be a lawyer or an actress.' And my dad would say, 'Well, they're the same thing, except that you'll probably make money with one.' He meant lawyer.'
'My husband and I both consider ourselves funny people - we met doing improv - and our biggest fear is having a kid who has no sense of humor. We go, 'What if our kid has no sense of timing? What happens if our kid doesn't get us?"
'I'm always doing characters, and I have fun doing my mother.' In a thick Minnesota accent: "Well, Melissa, L.A. is real crazy out there, ya know. I heard they rioted after they won a basketball game. Gosh, if they riot after they win, imagine what would happen if they lose!"
'When I was little I used to say, 'When I grow up, I want to be a lawyer or an actress.' And my dad would say, 'Well, they're the same thing, except that you'll probably make money with one.' He meant lawyer.'
'My husband and I both consider ourselves funny people - we met doing improv - and our biggest fear is having a kid who has no sense of humor. We go, 'What if our kid has no sense of timing? What happens if our kid doesn't get us?"
'I'm always doing characters, and I have fun doing my mother.' In a thick Minnesota accent: "Well, Melissa, L.A. is real crazy out there, ya know. I heard they rioted after they won a basketball game. Gosh, if they riot after they win, imagine what would happen if they lose!"
Barbra Jean -
"Instead I'm knocked up, locked up, and lookin' at three to life."
"I'm the other woman Reba. I'm the whore of Babylon!"
"Thelma! You're gonna need a Louise!"
"Mama Mia. That's a-one spicy red-head."
"You can only do so much to food before it just gives up, you know?"
"I used to be a good girl."
"Barbra.. Jean.. Booker... does not stay down!"
Carli Mitchell -
"I didn't buy this push-up bra just to lift my spirits."
"I don't wanna end up with another chimi, in my changa."
"No no no no no no no. Don't make him vomit. I can't afford to feed him breakfast twice.
"Gouda-bye."
"Instead I'm knocked up, locked up, and lookin' at three to life."
"I'm the other woman Reba. I'm the whore of Babylon!"
"Thelma! You're gonna need a Louise!"
"Mama Mia. That's a-one spicy red-head."
"You can only do so much to food before it just gives up, you know?"
"I used to be a good girl."
"Barbra.. Jean.. Booker... does not stay down!"
Carli Mitchell -
"I didn't buy this push-up bra just to lift my spirits."
"I don't wanna end up with another chimi, in my changa."
"No no no no no no no. Don't make him vomit. I can't afford to feed him breakfast twice.
"Gouda-bye."
